ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
