i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
