I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize