another moral hangover. fuck.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
