R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
