Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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