My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
