In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My balls are so social today.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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