Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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