WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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