wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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