Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
birth control should be required to get into college
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
