Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
