he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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