i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
