Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
