she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
