to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
vagina is talking i cant
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
