terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
