So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
