You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
