Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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