i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
