Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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