This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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