She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
