How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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