do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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