i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
