I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
