I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I looked at my own cervix.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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