Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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