How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
