at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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