never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
