What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
