yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
