Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize