high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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