You made me cry and you don't even care
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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