I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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