I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
