yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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