I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
