I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
