the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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