didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
