No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
