Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
