I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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