VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
