Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
