haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
