I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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