my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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