Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
