My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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