forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
