What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
