we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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