my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
