I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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