he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
