remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize