we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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