He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
