About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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