Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
